Narcissist Broke Up With Me

Give yourself a break and don’t feel bad about who you are. Every time the attention was focused anywhere but on him,there would be an issue,or the relationship. One other thing to remember: Narcissism can be caused by a traumatic past. “I date controlling and manipulative people until I figure out they are just like my mom and then I break up with them. 'Break mirror of narcissistic culture,' says Pope Francis Pope Francis leads an audience with members of the Shalom Catholic Community at the Vatican on Sept. Breaking up with a person who is not narcissistic is hard enough, but when you're dealing with a manipulator, the road to freedom is rocky to say the least. My situation resonates with yours in multiple ways - thank you for sharing! The section about "triangulation" is so true. It still hurt though. You might have already gone through other sources of information on this subject like other articles, or the. “If people are in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, they tend to cheat on their partners and their relationships break up sooner and end quite messily,” Erica Hepper, a psychologist. The average person goes back to a narcissist eight times, and that's not necessarily cheating but I would wonder where those numbers came from because a lot of them cheat and that would be a really good reason to break up with them, right?. Breaking Up With A Narcissist. Mothers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can't always do it alone, of course. I was disappointed but felt at ease The following day I changed my phone number, blocked him from all of my social media accounts and later created new accounts. She'd talk to me everyday. May 21, 2012 · It is hard to dredge-up sympathy for a narcissist since working with or for one sets you up for an inevitable beat-down. I could relate my own experiences of the narcissists whom I have know and had to live with and deal with. After a few yrs of self healing I found a nice man n married him. Then, when the victim doesn't receive any form of contact from the narcissist, they begin to think the break-up may possibly have been their fault, after all. She destroys your relationships Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Each module contains video slides, which are presented by me. She'd talk to me everyday. A narcissist thinks they know better and are superior. They start to treat you like crap and there are two choices for you to make. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people. Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. In this situation, the dance is almost inevitable without any interruption. [When you grow up with a narcissistic parent], there's always this feeling that nobody understands. As the joke goes, ‘That’s enough about you. Discussing my current narc to a relative who advised I read about narcissist. The Chicago Tribune ran a smart piece about the dangers of dating a narcissist—so smart, in fact, that they interviewed me for it. But if you can't leave them for one reason or another, you'll have to learn how to deal with narcissists without giving up your personal power. When It’s All About Them: Being Involved With a Narcissist. Psych Mom is such a huge and popular site. If you choose this, don't feel guilty. Now, you've met someone who is responsible enough to admit when he is wrong. Long story short, he came back January 1, 2017 in full force. If the narcissist is not spending time with you in public. until my health broke, and I come down with a mysterious illness. But you got to be ready for this though. If you’ve known these people it’s difficult not to feel sorry for them. I strongly believed that I was in love with a narcissist for 2. She then. My new website is coming soon! The Support Forum is open. Here's how to break up with a narcissist. Misconceptions about the Narcissist. break up, you are left feeling confused. It's safe to say when you began this relationship, you had no idea that your SO was a narcissist. Later, when we became friends again and dated again (also classic co-dependent) he told me that I had broken up with him and he had torn up all of my pictures. The Narcissist's Child now has a Facebook group dedicated to helping adults who had narcissistic parents or parental figures: this group is not suitable for children or for the parents of children whose other parent is a narcissist. I was afraid of facing life all by myself. Breaking up with a narcissist might make him/her rethink life and how they might end up alone, should they not change their ways. The Suck In. For survivors of narcissistic abuse. You made me numb. after that day i went to NC but he ttied to contact many times and we end up with a mess. A narcissist never gives up was created by Aventurine It's been several weeks now since I said anything to my ex. You made me feel like I was the crazy one, like I was insecure, jealous, and ungrateful—as if it was an honor to be with you. Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. This has been extremely helpful. In this article we will answer the question "do narcissists care if you move on. If they aren't finished with you yet, they will. It's okay you get one shot, two shots maybe. I have a house and a cellphone as well as you do. Growing up in a narcissist family it made me ideal pickings. She responded to me with nasty messaged telling me to f*off and that it's always my way. The next morning he texted me trying to make sure we stayed friends "instead of enemies". The difference between. She might tell him that she runs her entire company or donates her extra time on the weekend to charity when she really doesn't. Let’s talk about me’. com October Writing. "If you criticize a narcissist, he will turn on you in a heartbeat and savage your self. But because he is a narcissist, the simple act of communicating seems close to impossible. Each stage has its own form of. Robin Berman, a practicing psychiatrist, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, and author of Permission to Parent. break up, you are left feeling confused. How to get over the break up with a narcissist. And they use every manipulation in the book to get. She responded to me with nasty messaged telling me to f*off and that it’s always my way. Lion Goodman realized he was a narcissist, and he wanted to change. Each module contains video slides, which are presented by me. I was devastated, literally sick and lost 15 klbs in a month. He has a huge ego and too proud to come back…he was sending me mixed signals. i just thought he had been hurt or shy. Narcissists choose "victims" based on their status and how the person's status can inflate their sense of self-worth. You may have got into a spiral of negativity, with disappointments stacking up and dragging you. Sometimes, though, we need the truth because it's the one thing that can finally set us free. But you got to be ready for this though. I broke up with him once, took him. In the beginning, he was considerate, understanding, charming, suave, loving, and this is what "sucked" me in. #10 Getting over a relationship with a narcissist is never easy. It made me sad that I’d invested so much time, love and emotions-of-all-kinds into our relationship. When he broke up with me, i never knew he was dating someone else, he said many hurtful things to me, blunt words, even. A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. She is stupid for asking. I was exhausted. If we’ve gotten caught up in a relationship with a narcissist we may be afraid to stop taking on the energy if the emotions the narcissist won’t take responsibility for because that forces them to experience and respond to their unpleasant emotional state and narcissists can get very nasty when that happens. of his stuff and stopped in the bedroom as I'm typing this and gave me the puppy dog eyes and teared up and said. We'll feel a whole lot better. How To Get What You Want From A Narcissist. If they aren't finished with you yet, they will. So my narcissist boyfriend broke up with me last week. " My initial knee-jerk reaction was to think, "Hey, I resemble that remark!," but since I do resemble it, getting upset over it would do me no good. In my case, he was not the type to have a lot of close friends, so he was just used to having me be the one to talk to about everything. Two years ago I got a crying phone call from my daughter asking me to fly out and drive back across the country with her. This is how to win with a narcissist: In your personal life, use "empathy prompts": Music doesn't soothe the savage beast, but reminding them about relationships and your feelings can. When It’s All About Them: Being Involved With a Narcissist. I would let all my frustration build up inside me and I would just yell and scream at him some days when he would say something rude or mean to me. Now, you've met someone who is responsible enough to admit when he is wrong. ly/start-here-book Out of the FOG: http://bit. So, you should be able to face your fears down and stand up for yourself. I had no idea these kind of people exist. My husband's mother was a narcissist, so I'm wondering if it's an inherited trait or if he learned it from her. How to Break Free from a Parent’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Part Three in a Four-Part Series) This is the third post in a four-part series by former blogger ‘One Angry Daughter,’ who shares her wisdom for Adult Children of Narcissists. Schumacher, Psy. They can try to take you down and play with you whenever they get bored. It was easier to go than to hear him rant about not caring. She thinks nothing of getting in my face. Have you been in an abusive relationship with a narcissist? Here's how to get rid of the narcissist and avoid his wrath. The next morning he texted me trying to make sure we stayed friends “instead of enemies”. Entertainment Inc. Comments on Narcissistic Grandmother and Your Children (he went to her house for time out when he broke up with his fiancé last year). A man falls in love with what he thinks is a beautiful princess or damsel in distress, only to watch her morph into the destructive, devouring witch. 5 to 1 percent of people are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). So in the end it was not so hard and I could tell him goodbye and remain quite calm with his protest and tantrum. You might have already gone through other sources of information on this subject like other articles, or the. I wrote to you about a year ago regarding a three year relationship I was in with a "great" guy who just wouldn't commit - the typical commitment-phobe narcissist who we all know and love! He broke up with me three times. "At first, they may love-bomb you. If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true. They are now married. Close to a psychotic break? Harvard psychiatrist on Trump’s downward spiral — and how his paranoia may persuade him to leave office. There can be no other gods in an extreme narcissist’s world, regardless if they say they believe in God or not. Wrapping This Up. But you got to be ready for this though. There is no way of controlling him. It was easier to go than to hear him rant about not caring. If there is something you want a narcissist to agree to or provide, the following principles will prove helpful. They may break up with you temporarily or you may break up with them, but they never really break up with you. question whether or not he is a narcissist. You Did NOT Break Me. In theory, this appears to give the narcissist a measure of control. I am not going to lie to you. There is a reason narcissists seem to hate you but won't let you go, though it's hard to digest. After suffering severe post traumatic depress and left broke. Self-admiration can further be explained as the case in which one develops a liking to oneself and is often healthy for one’s own character while egotistical behavior is when one develops an over excessive interest in oneself that’s often quite harmful to one’s health in the long run. I had no idea these kind of people exist. Pamela Anderson accuses Adil Rami of being a 'monster' as model announces break up with Marseille defender. It was easier to go than to hear him rant about not caring. Robin Berman, a practicing psychiatrist, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, and author of Permission to Parent. Do narcissists and borderlines get better with age?. The Narcissist Support Group is here for anyone looking for support while dealing with Narcissist problems. It made me feel special. Sign 5: He gets irritated with you so often:. he doesn’t just. The Narcissist after the Break-Up - The Narcissistic Life 18 Jun 2013 Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. and finally outright admitted that the reason he. If they break up with you, it's a self-righteous move, as if to say. "No more dating narcissists," she wrote. 4 Reasons for the Cruel Breakup. T his is a question of motivation. We broke up after a few months because he ended up sexually assaulting me but I still can’t seem to stay away despite the fact he’s awful and, regarding the circumstances, I should want nothing to do with him. In the end she kept up daily texts and phone calls during the long distance phase in our relationship, amorous and reaffirming our love, we were planning for her to move permanently to live with me again after our 9mnths together. It was easier to go than to hear him rant about not caring. By Kirsten Corley He knocked you down just to build you back up. Let go of your past mistakes. However, I could not bring myself to break up with him. Once he decided he didn't need me as a Supply for his narcissistic ego, he dismissed me. The Clinical Guidelines for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She thinks nothing of getting in my face. i would ask him but he would never answer. Are You Obsessed with a Narcissist? and read up on narcissists, you’re sweating them out. 9) If a narcissist sociopath is your boss, then you won’t like it, but the best thing you can do is kiss up or shut up. If you've just come out of a relationship and your ex happened to be your worst nightmare, then ignoring a narcissist might be the best thing to do. She worked over the years to ruin my reputation. " — Krista P. He has dropped off my belongings to a family member's home (only to complete junk - he has the quality items still) He's text me a few times, with the last text being a farewell text. And so it goes through the generations until one person of one generation decides to consciously and intentionally break the cycle. The single was released to active rock and mainstream rock radio stations on October 18, 2011, followed by a digital release on October 24, 2011. Referred to as the hoover (or, as I like to call it, The Hoovering, because, to me, it smacks of a scary movie!), this return is very deliberate and typically won't occur until the narcissist has been gone just slightly. Leaving a Sociopath: 5 Break Up Musts 1) As soon as the door shuts, have our door locks rekeyed. My ex-narcissist kept two exes in the wings. Narcissistic Woman. Trying to "figure him out" only resulted in tying me up in knots of frustration and anxiety as there's no end to the puzzle, so put I put my focus on the only thing I could control—me. You change yours to avoid the pain, waiting and hoping for them to change. Misconceptions about the Narcissist. The average person goes back to a narcissist eight times, and that's not necessarily cheating but I would wonder where those numbers came from because a lot of them cheat and that would be a really good reason to break up with them, right?. A common example may be the need to be rich, fabulous, famous and oh… did I say wealthy? So then… if that’s the case, why do narcissists often times not pay their bills reliable and so often wind up completely broke and in trouble for their debt in some way or another?. Or the simple request of having him take your child to a sports function ends up in a full blown argument. How a narcissist makes you feel. He has dropped off my belongings to a family member’s home (only to complete junk – he has the quality items still) He’s text me a few times, with the last text being a farewell text. I strongly believed that I was in love with a narcissist for 2. A few weeks ago was the last straw for me. Don’t fall prey to these underhanded and manipulative end-game tactics. This was last Thursday. Once he decided he didn't need me as a Supply for his narcissistic ego, he dismissed me. There's no way that I can say definitively that your ex is not a narcissist. Powerful post Rob. This emotional roller coaster ride with a narcissist is far worse than a break up. To me they may do something even more rash without a lot of forethought. My Narcissistic boyfriend broke up with me using silent treatment I'm having trouble getting over my ex discarding me. Narcissists get involved in relationships to “get” something out of the relationship. As he is also addicted to sex & porn & must have Control over every aspect of that too. However, in the narcissistic family set up, assertiveness is viewed as a criticism of the narcissist. he broke up. A psychotherapist explains why honesty is not the best policy, and other ways to protect yourself. How to get over the break up with a narcissist. (CNS photo/L'Osservatore Romano). Really? Are you looking at the same photo as me? When their inappropriate, unwelcome, self-deluding flirtations and overtures fall flat, they'll often label the uninterested target as gay, closet case, stuck up, crazy or something equally derogatory. If the narcissist has conned you out of money, assets or anything else, it is often impossible to recover these things. The reality is this. This is part of the trick they play to get closer to you. For me, it is my sister’s husband that is the abusive narcissist but the whole extended family is impacted negatively. I have no bond with her and unfortunately she is now in a care home with late stage HIV, dementia and cancer. I wouldn’t be surprised if, over time, you’ve found yourself increasingly irritated, frustrated, stressed or desperately hurt by them – and perhaps even scared. Then, when the victim doesn't receive any form of contact from the narcissist, they begin to think the break-up may possibly have been their fault, after all. I have honored my own no contact rule. Yes, sometimes a narcissist will contact their ex after a break up because the narcissist cannot imagine their ex with anyone else as the narcissist has a complex of being the greatest at. When the narcissist sees you're moving on and had enough, you unfortunately break no contact for some reason, and what he says to seal the deal of you letting him back into your life is that he's sorry, realizes how wrong he was, and WANTS TO GET MARRIED. I had not heard that before. We know she has NPD as it was diagnosed but it was different to connect terms from here to things she did. You’ve never met his friends from high school or college. My life with a Narcissist – A Personal Story. When I was about to go to college, he came out of the closet as a homosexual and I wasn't allowed to have feelings if they were negative. With that said, he convinced me I needed to move in with him for my own safety and he was going to take care of me and my teenage daughter. At the end of the day, narcissistic parents likely developed this way because of what they were modeled by their own parents. Alright, we've learned a lot. No surprise when you know, but when you don't it is a huge and traumatic shock. Hi I never knew about narcissist before. You robbed me of all my feelings. It’s all about ME, ME, ME. some people show affection but then he kept trying to wind me up by adding models on facebook. Even worse, the sleaze he was sleeping with while married to me, who was the secretary at a business we owned together, and who is 17 years younger, is a narcissist too. Although he did also sleep with my co worker and lied about it a week after the breakup and he ended up sleeping with the girl he cheated on me with again and tried to lie about it once again. So to see that you seem so empowered is amazing. After I broke up with him & told him we didn't need to speak again, i unfriended him on fb. You might have already gone through other sources of information on this subject like other articles, or the. It's been four months since my ex broke up with me and no one, myself included, could understand why exactly it was so difficult to move on from or pinpoint many of the things that are scarily commonplace with NPD. The real reason they’re breaking up with you is that they’re done using you. and finally outright admitted that the reason he. I was in a situation from my prior relationship having had a restraining order on my ex as he stalked me and was threatening me for a year after we broke up. Why Did The Narcissist Dump You and What To Expect please talk to me i am going through a painful breakup of a narcissist. around now and say "look he's crazy- i never was with him!" if thats the case whyd he feel the need to formerly break up. Me bringing these things up on FB (and mind you, I only have my immediate family and very few trusted others on my page, not hundreds of friends) was not "spiraling" anything. Don’t come near me. Economic and Financial Abuse ~ A Narcissist Dream Plan Exposed he began having an affair and was already lining up the next supply (victim). Trying to "figure him out" only resulted in tying me up in knots of frustration and anxiety as there's no end to the puzzle, so put I put my focus on the only thing I could control—me. From my own personal experience - my ex tried his hardest to remain friends after he broke up with me. A 2010 study found that straight male narcissists reserve the worst of. I was raised in a toxic, dysfunctional environment and never knew what respect and love looked like. This is because narcissistic characteristics are not always immediately obvious. This will not stop you from being manipulated by narcissists! Indeed, it’s how they’ve been able to manipulate up to this point. Honestly anything they see as a valid way to use/abuse you again. One other thing to remember: Narcissism can be caused by a traumatic past. What Should I Expect After Being Dumped By a Narcissist? Being dumped by anyone is tragic. As a DSM-IV trait, the narcissisit's need to fend off inner emptiness, feel special and in control, and avoid feeling defective. Breaking Up With A Narcissist. The 3 Phases of a Relationship With a Narcissist. I wrote to you about a year ago regarding a three year relationship I was in with a "great" guy who just wouldn't commit - the typical commitment-phobe narcissist who we all know and love! He broke up with me three times. Pamela Anderson accuses Adil Rami of being a 'monster' as model announces break up with Marseille defender. I finally decided that it was time to end it. The movie centers on Ronny and Loretta, yet seeing the last scene isolated from the rest of the movie drew me to Johnny’s experience. The next morning he texted me trying to make sure we stayed friends “instead of enemies”. I know i had a mother who is very narcissist and very insecure. You robbed me of all my feelings. Narcissists are really adept at cultivating that protective instinct in the people they entangle themselves with … often so much so, you’re willing to protect them no matter what the cost to yourself. All during this, my father and siblings told me I was "making up" or "imagining it" while telling me I was "spoiled" and criticizing me for not "healing my relationship with my mother". I am a poison to her. Most of all, you never cared about what I had to say. Throughout your lives narcissistic siblings cause psychological pain and often financial ruptures within a family. I have never had the thought of wanting someone dead. If the narcissist or partner decides to break up the relationship but the partner seeks answers about narcissist’s ability to move on so quickly, the narcissist may respond with answers, yet they feel nonsensical answers or don’t add up. You may have got into a spiral of negativity, with disappointments stacking up and dragging you. In a healthy family, the scapegoated child’s assertive nature would be encouraged, valued and nurtured. You made me numb. Or the simple request of having him take your child to a sports function ends up in a full blown argument. He abused me by claiming to be poor so I had just been in a relationship. The smallest thing can set a narcissist off and lead to a very big, nasty blow up that results in unreasonable threats. Welcome to Narcissist Apocalypse, a podcast that gives a voice to narcissistic abuse survivors. My malignant narcissist taught me well in our 8 years together. When I was about to go to college, he came out of the closet as a homosexual and I wasn't allowed to have feelings if they were negative. How a narcissist makes you feel. You are not alone. The Discard Stage is Stage Three in the Four Stages of a Relationship with a Narcissist and what I help you move through in my Free Yourself From Narcissists program. He would also withhold sexual intimacy from me when we were together. Long story short, I got involved in a controlling relationship with someone that very likely was a sociopath. You can't trust a narcissist, so the best thing to do is to break free and never look back. Or the simple request of having him take your child to a sports function ends up in a full blown argument. by After Narcissistic Abuse - There is Light, Life & Love on Wednesday, He broke up with me once, out of. Your partner leaves, usually without warning or explanation and chances are, if. I would let all my frustration build up inside me and I would just yell and scream at him some days when he would say something rude or mean to me. Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. My new website is coming soon! The Support Forum is open. If you try and bring yourself up or turn the conversation around, they’ll quickly bring the subject back to them. If you are unlucky enough to find yourself divorcing a narcissist, there’s bad news I have to break to you: The money is never coming back. The movie centers on Ronny and Loretta, yet seeing the last scene isolated from the rest of the movie drew me to Johnny’s experience. They didn't have room to run all my blather, of course. Ten Things You Can't do With a Narcissist What to expect after the break-up with the narcissist Narcissists Force Co-Dependent Relationships Discover and share Narcissistic People Quotes. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is the classic grandiose narcissist: someone who pumps himself up to compensate for low self-esteem. Rekeying costs less than changing out the hardware door knobs and all. Find a locksmith online or in the good old Yellow Pages and get them over to our place as soon as the scammer is out. While it’s tough to be married to a narcissist, it’s even tougher to divorce one. my wife beat beat up mentally stresses me out accusing me a day to day out all day and all night she. As he is also addicted to sex & porn & must have Control over every aspect of that too. Later, when we became friends again and dated again (also classic co-dependent) he told me that I had broken up with him and he had torn up all of my pictures. Breaking off a relationship with someone who has this personality disorder can be extremely difficult, and I'll tell you what you need to know in order to make a clean break. Yes, sometimes a narcissist will contact their ex after a break up because the narcissist cannot imagine their ex with anyone else as the narcissist has a complex of being the greatest at. Very interesting reading and so true. My girlfriend of over a year now let me know Sunday night that she wants to take a break. Narcissists generally go after people who can easily be manipulated, they are the master-manipulators so it wouldn’t benefit them in any way to go after someone who’s quick to call. If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true. He called me while I was out of town on family business and broke up with me. Even though he was the one who had come to me in the first place, and offered that we should get an apartment together, if I only gave him another chance! Even with that fact, this break-up was still my fault! Next post will probably be about how I humiliated myself in the last 10 months, by being his back-up, some old ex in his narcissistic. he doesn’t just. Detaching With Love from a Borderline or Narcissist. Rejection and breaking-up are especially hard for codependents - even when the relationship was abusive! It can take longer to get over a breakup, sometimes years, for even a short relationship. The Narcissist's Traits After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in. It means you have an open and trusting heart—something your narcissist will never have. com October Writing. Two years ago I got a crying phone call from my daughter asking me to fly out and drive back across the country with her. some people show affection but then he kept trying to wind me up by adding models on facebook. If the narcissist has conned you out of money, assets or anything else, it is often impossible to recover these things. Meeting with the narcissist in public or in private; Phone calls — calling yourself or taking calls from the narcissist; Blocking the narcissist’s text messages. When I broke up with my Narc ex-boyfriend, I ran to. What to expect after the break-up with the narcissist. I knew something wasn't exactly "right" about him from about the 3rd month but chose to ignore it, focus on the positives, and accept the blame that everything was always MY fault in his eyes. 'Break mirror of narcissistic culture,' says Pope Francis Pope Francis leads an audience with members of the Shalom Catholic Community at the Vatican on Sept. They want much more than their fair share of the family assets both while the parents are living and afterwards. We have always had a long distance relationship, and come from very different backgrounds. The way he walked in and out of my life and my childrens life like we ment nothing. Let's round it up and learn how we can always feel special… and not turn into a narcissist. At the end of the day, narcissistic parents likely developed this way because of what they were modeled by their own parents. It hurts terribly to hear that. When I was about to go to college, he came out of the closet as a homosexual and I wasn't allowed to have feelings if they were negative. Know that your innocence is a good thing. Once they have your attention, they will adopt a calm, patronizing demeanor. This may be due to a trauma, which was more than their young psyche could withstand. Are You Involved With a Narcissistic Person? by Thomas J. But if you can't leave them for one reason or another, you'll have to learn how to deal with narcissists without giving up your personal power. Selfless people. She broke it to me one day about three weeks in after I expressed my concerns that we hadn’t sorted a visa or. If he is the Golden Boy,mom and/or dad view him as perfect and make no effort to create psychological boundaries that must not be crossed with his siblings. Comments on Narcissistic Grandmother and Your Children (he went to her house for time out when he broke up with his fiancé last year). Studies of narcissistic personality disorder: mother and daughter relationship issues have consistently shown that a narcissistic mother is incapable of giving love or empathizing with her daughter. How To Cope With A Narcissistic Mother. I am so happy and grateful for websites like this. Having a narcissistic brother in your family is exceedingly painful and frightening. Because you deserve to have it be as painless as possible.